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Intro and methods
Does social media have negative effects on college students’ grades? Introduction Social media is everywhere. The evolution of social media and the internet has brought a new age of interaction and is now in almost every aspect of our daily lives. While social media has given us new ways to share ideas, stay in touch, learn, and grow it has changed how we live our lives. There are of course positives and negatives to social media but one aspect in particular I was intrigued with was the negative effects on a college students’ grades. A survey was conducted asking college students what they thought about their social media use and their grades. Many researchers have done studies similar. Three researchers Markus Appel, Caroline Marker, and Timo Gnambs took a closer look at the affects of social media and academic performance....
Maybe include sub headers for academic and non-academic writing, like (structure, language, etc.)
ReplyDeleteThe introduction has good background. The thesis statement is clear. There are a couple grammatical errors and a citation error but that is about it for the introduction. The overall paper is smooth. There are some repetitive words that do not need to be used since they have the same meanings. Non-academic and academic writings are defined very well with good sources and examples. In the conclusion maybe also include some things that were fun or surprising to find out about to make the paper more interesting towards the end.
The paper is overall good and gives a lot pertinent information to reader about writing in the field of business. There are however a few errors that really detract from the meaning of the paper. The quotes are well implemented and well explained. The citations were also well put throughout the paper.
ReplyDeleteOne of largest errors that I saw throughout the paper was the actual structure of the paper. The paper didn't have headings such as language, structure, audience, etc.... instead the paper was structured in a way that for each para graph the the main topic was the individual sources. The use of this structure really breaks up the information that you are giving about each and its individual structure/language.
For referencing the different sources and the titles of those sources instead of putting the titles in quotations I would italicize them.And for some of the things that you were talking about within your paragraphs I would say that you need more quotes for the language aspect of business. Addition of language examples would help the reader to be able to see tangible evidence that there is a difference between academic and non-academic writing.
Within your introduction paragraphs that you use for your paper in general writing there is a little anecdote about yourself and why you had chosen to write about business writing. I feel that this can detract from the fact that the paper is a report of the writing within business, so it shouldn't really have any personal things in it. In order to avoid this I would just make things a little more general so it doesn't refer to only you and more of the general population or business professionals in general.